I don’t like to generalize, but all dentists are out of their minds. Ok, so that is not true at all, but I have had some bad experiences none of which happened in Greenwood. When I was seven years old one dentist put me in a small waiting room and left. He came back in and handed me a small paper cup with a blue liquid in it and left. I smelled it, it smelled good and so I drank it. The dentist returned and freaked out. I mean what is a kid supposed to do when you hand him a Kool-Aid like substance. Apparently I drank a cup of fluoride and it was not half bad.

When I was 16 a dentist convinced my mother that I was in great pain. “This tooth is hurting him and we must do a root canal right away,” he said. When I told him I was not really feeling any pain he began hitting the tooth with the back end of one of his instruments. When he did not get the response he wanted he began to hit it harder and harder until he gave up and told my mother that I was lying. I was given the root canal. Before the procedure began I was administered six or seven shots of Novocaine but I could still feel the drill and so the dentist, annoyed, looked at me and said, “Well I guess I will just give you a shot in the tooth”. And he did just that. I did not know it was possible to do this but he stuck a needle in my tooth as every muscle in my body tensed up. After it was all said and done I was given a faulty cap and so the tooth quietly rotted for a couple of years.

I abandoned my childhood dentist, for good reason, and made an appointment elsewhere to deal with the bad tooth. This Dr. looked at my tooth and told me there was nothing that could be done to save it and that the tooth would have to come out. The dentist grabbed a pair of pliers, looked at me and said, “If this hurts too much you will need to have surgery,” which I took as, “shut up and take it”. This guy got on top of me, grabbed a hold of the tooth and began violently jerking back and forth with all of his weight. He grunted loudly as my head was pulled from side to side. The room started turning white as I began to pass out from the most intense pain I have ever felt in my life. Right when I felt like I was about to leave my body the tooth came out. The dentist, out of breath and covered in sweat, showed it to me before passing it off to his assistant. I never went back to this dentist.

The next dentist I went to see was a female. I figured that a woman would at the very least be less prone to violence, I was mistaken. After my initial x-rays she told me that I had a cavity that needs to be filled and while she’s at it she will cut out my wisdom teeth. “Wait, what? Why are you going to do that?!”, I asked. “Well they hurt don’t they?”, she asked. I started having flashbacks to my first dentist. “No….no….no, did I say that?”. “Well,” she said. “I assumed that they were hurting you and that I could take care of it.”. “No…no…no,” I protested. “They are fine.” “Ok,” she said. “I guess I won’t cut them out then”.

She was going to take a hot knife to my mouth because it was open! “While I’m at it,” she said.

My next dentist drilled on one of my teeth without Novocaine and without warning! I bolted upright in the chair and the Dr. got up and was about to start running I think. “I thought you were coming after me,” he said. “It crossed my mind.” He told me that he was just going to smooth something out and did not see the need to numbed me first.

I think I need to be tranquilized like a grizzly bear for my next dentist appointment. Than again I have some trust issues. Maybe I will bring a witness with me.