While I certainly don’t want to misrepresent a serious illness, I also feel like I am not in complete control of the things that I say. I met a colleague over the weekend. He was a very nice man that went out of his way to greet me. He was older than me so I addressed him as “sir”, which he did not care for at all and so I apologized and then proceeded to call him “sir” six more times and I did not even realize it until about an hour later.

I blame Greenwood schools for instilling this into me, more specifically Greenwood Athletics. To this day if you were ever a coach that is what I am calling you, regardless of your current title or how long it has been since you were a coach. And if you are older than me I am going to call you sir if you are a man, a female “ma’am”, my employer at any level “boss” and if you have a title I will call you that instead of your name.

It is simply a reflex at this point and it irritates me and those around me I know. I love and hate store registers manned by humans. I enjoy the interaction and I am also glad someone is getting paid to do a job instead of a machine that will just taking my money. However, I have the most awkward conversations at checkout. They generally start out with the cashier saying, “How are you today?”. This is a reflex on their part, they see far too many people a day to care and too many crazy people to engage in conversation. My response to the question is always the same, “I’m great how are you?” and this is when the awkward silence begins. I rarely get a response to my query but I fall for it everytime.

A store that I used to frequent had a cashier that would ring me up and then rip the money from hand as if she was a loan shark and I was a day late. This did not sit well with me and I began dreading my trips there. Then one day I was standing in line thinking about the paper cut I was about receive when a freckled faced boy next in line sat his candybar on the conveyor belt and then sat his money down with it. Brilliant! From that day forward I began using this system. Thanks kid.