I am getting a little concerned about the English Language. I am not perfect by any means but I am hearing words from very intelligent people that make me cringe. I was watching a commercial for a medication, you know the ones that have a list of side effects that sound worse than the illness they are made to cure, when the voiceover guy called it an “uninjection”. I’m no doctor but isn’t that just a pill? I know that I am on to something because my spell check keeps trying to change the word injection because uninjection is not a word! Uninject is not even a legal Scrabble word and I know for a fact that aa is. Aa is defined as: a dry form of lava resembling clinkers. What are clinkers? Clinkers: a brick that has been burned too much in the kiln. AND clinkers is a legal scrabble word.

It gets worse. During a national news broadcast recently I heard the anchor used the words “baby doctor” instead of pediatrician. I sat in my recliner muttering to myself for the remainder of the broadcast. Do they think we will not understand the word pediatrician?

When my kids were very young I resisted the temptation to talk baby talk to them. I spoke to them like adults for the most part. The results of this were sometimes hilarious and occasionally annoying to others.

For example my wife was driving with our daughter, Rachel, and in a moment of just making conversation with the eight years old my wife made the statement that it was “rainyfied”, referring to the weather. Rachel crossed her arms looked out the window and said, “It’s overcast mom.” I was so proud, my wife was not amused. I was told that I had “broken the children.”

My son learned this lesson as well but now uses his knowledge to annoy me. He is now the undisputed pun king of the family. I have explained to him that puns are the lowest form of humor but he ignores me and continues to torture me with them. I may be to blame for this as well. I once told him this joke; did you hear about the guy who was in a car accident and lost the entire left side of his body? He’s all right now. It is a terrible joke but he loved it.

I know I am in danger of turning in to Andy Rooney here but I have one more complaint. Can we stop misusing the work “hack”? A hack is not a tip and it is not a shortcut, it in fact has a very clear definition. Here are the acceptable uses of the word hack as defined by Webster's Dictionary:

- to cut or sever with repeated irregular or unskillful blows.

-informal : to manage successfully EX. he just couldn't hack the new job.

-to gain illegal access to (a computer network, system, etc.).

I lost a bet to my brother in law TJ in 2000 over whether or not the word ain’t was in the dictionary. I said that it was not and had to shave my head so obviously I’m not an expert.