I have really been dragging this week. I have been trying to quit coffee. I don’t really have a reason to stop drinking it other than it would just be one less thing that I have to do every single day of my life.

I quit drinking regular softdrinks about 10 years ago. I was able to quite regular softdrinks by switching to diet. Within 30 days regular drinks were WAY too sweet. So then I quit diet drinks which was much harder for some reason. After about 30 days I tasted a diet soft drink to see if it still had a spell on me and I spit it out. It tasted like a concoction of chemicals, which it is, and no longer appealed to me.

I don’t know if coffee will be so easy of a fight. Coffee and I go way back. I was a curious child and as a latch key kid and I did many experiments using simple household items such as making an egg float in salty water and getting an egg into bottle using fire. They were largely egg and fire based experiments. One time I took a balloon and stretched it over a two litre bottle of Coke, shook the bottle until the balloon filled up with gas, I then removed the balloon, inhaled the contents and promptly passed out.

We also had a jar of Folger’s Crystals and I loved the smell of it but I did not like the taste of it mixed with water. One day I dug a spoon full of the brown crystals out and put it directly in my mouth, thereby relieving the middleman. As the dark bitter crystals dissolved in my mouth a little switch went off in my brain and I decided that I liked coffee. I had been recently diagnosed as Dyslexic and with Attention Deficit Disorder and was made to take Ritalin. I didn’t like the way Ritalin made me feel but discovered that spoons of Folger’s Crystals brought me back to where I wanted to be. Soon I was hitting the jar everyday.

Then I got busted by my mother, who discovered a sealed envelope in my backpack containing an odd substance. She opened it and found that it was full of instant coffee. I confessed transporting my substance of choice to school and my coffee was taken away. Years later when the era of the coffee shops began I worked at an ice cream place that started selling espresso. We used the espresso to make cappuccinos and mochas but no one drank straight espresso. I took a drink of the concentrated coffee drink and it transported me back to my parents house eating coffee off of a spoon.