The idea of keeping something for the value it will inherit with time is one that I have never really liked. This thought was extremely prevalent when I was in middle school for some reason. I collected baseball cards for a lot of reasons but none of those reasons were monetary. I wanted the Topps 1985 Mark McGwire Olympic card because I was fascinated with baseball player and not because it was worth $20, which it still is, roughly.

I was often scolded by fellow collectors for biting gently down on my cards with pursed lips as I arranged my cards in my binder for fear I may damage them. One kid, I remember, called me “stupid” because I wrote my name on the underside of my Oakland A’s cap. When I asked why he was calling me names his answer was predictable, “It will be worth something someday”.

For the most part I was right, hardly any of the cards I collected in the 80s are worth a cent more than I paid for them at IGA. All of the hats and shirts that I thoughtlessly destroyed the long term value of by wearing would have been worthless had I kept them in a glass case for 30 years.

The same goes for Beanie Babies and toys collected from fast food restaurants. Honestly you would have been better off keeping your dipping sauces than the stuffed bears they gave away. The fever pitch for the McDonald’s Chicken McNugget Szechuan sauce spurred by the animated series Rick and Morty is out of control. People are paying upwards of $1,000 for the limited time sauce that was originally released in 1998 in conjunction with the film Mulan.

As Ecclesiastes says, “There is nothing no new thing under the sun.” I remember the release of “New Coke” in 1985 and the uproar that caused was amazing to me. I saw one portly gentleman exclaim on the nightly news, “I will pay $100 for a six pack of the original”.

So when reports were circulated about the discontinuation of Twinkies, in what was known as the Twinkie-pocalypse, I was already ahead of the curve. Boxes of the disgusting sponge cake sold for in excess of $5,000 each with one box on the auction block for $200,000. Of course Twinkie's came back and many a sucker had been tricked.

As for the Szechwan dipping sauce; it will be back this winter, according to the restaurant chain, much to the chagrin of one Rick and Morty fan that reportedly traded his car for one 0.9 packet sauce.