I love the quote “Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t after you.” I tend to get paranoid whenever I am very tired. I know when I start having certain thoughts that it is time for a nap.

For instance I am sure that I am not hitting more red lights than the average person but it sure seems that way. This thought gets confirmation when I have passengers that begin counting the amount of red lights I have to stop for without me mentioning the phenomenon. My wife has even gotten to the point that she doesn't like following me in her car because I have to stop so often. I have tried speeding up, slowing down and following the speed limit perfectly and nothing seems to help. Driving from Greenwood to Fort Smith I will hit a minimum of five red lights before I reach the city limits.

Here is another example of my ongoing paranoia with a few facts to back up my theory. I can’t like anything too much or else it goes away. I’ll explain. This mostly has to do with food.

At the grocery store: I used to love Hamburger Helper Potatoes Au Gratin. It was a staple of my diet during college. Replaced now with Potatoes Stroganoff, which is fine but not quite the same. There was product known as Knorr Bow Tie Pasta that was ripped from the shelves as soon as I began to enjoy it, replaced by nothing.

Fast food: The Homestyle burger, Grilled Onion Cheddars and the Arch Deluxe from McDonald's. Gone, gone and gone.

The Santa Fe Chalupa/Gordita, Fajita Wraps and Frito Burrito from Taco Bell. Gone, gone and gone.

I have made entire restaurants disappear with my preferences. I’ll take the blame for the loss of our beloved L&J. I liked the burgers too much, I am truly sorry, but it had to go. As did Taco Rio which I preferred over most non fast food Mexican places. I sought out Tac Rios in neighboring cities and one by one I shut them all down.

Recently I found a really good frozen spinach pizza I liked (I know it sounds gross but it was very good), it is no more I have been to a dozen places trying to find it but it has been wiped from the face of the earth.

When I decided to start eating more fruits and vegetables the store I frequent stopped carrying Golden Delicious Apples. I waited a few weeks thinking, surely they are just out. Finally I stopped the produce manager and asked when they were getting them and he replied, “We’re not. We have decided to not stock them anymore.” Just to make sure I was not completely crazy I went to a different store just to make sure I did not enjoy a fruit out of existence. Thankfully I found them there, I just have to make a separate trip to find them.

All this talk of food is making me hungry. I should probably take a nap too.